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December 13th 2003

I've just received an email from John Fredriksson which I want to share with you:

"Hey there, I, like a million other people downloaded and played through both mods halfquake and halfquake 2: amen, and I found the songs to be so out of this world that I got a hold of the sound track and I must say, your music rocks, and seeing as Im a musician myself Ive heard most music thats out there!

I like your harmonies and the way you combine them with semi-raw beats,If anybody bashes you for having an accent , bash back, your accent is what make your singing so damned good, I think it sounds unique, and Im one of those people who usually HATE singing. (I prefer screaming a la slipknot better :D)

Well, I just wanted to get that off my chest regarding your songs...

Ill get back to you with comments on your other songs when Ive heard them, so far Ive only listend to a few of them, since I just downloaded them :D (just heard, stick together team while writing this mail, wow, epic stuff!)

Now .. about those mods the team has made, I have to say, Ive played through several half-life mods and Im truly impressed with the effects, and moods youve created throughout the mod, (many moods thanks to your music), some scenes Ill never forget are: HQ, the behind the scenes levels, I thought my character had stumbled upon the backdoors, and I thought I´d survive from that point on... BIG mistake :D, HQ, the intro, when the machine or whatever, splits up and reveals the character, HQ, the 2d scenes, VERY cool idea, which has been copied over and over and over by other mod authors. HQA: ambience, that world is so, wonderful, I would have liked to go there myself , its so wondrous, just like a dream , one of those you wake up from crying your heart out due to the fact that it wasnt real, tell me, is ambience based on a dream some of the team had? oh well, nevermind, onward! The art of HQA is amazing, the style of the mod is positively wonderful, the black/white/green colour setting is a stroke of genious and I would love to see more of these kinds of modifications.
About the sapience level, I laughed my ass off at your ironic parody of the half-life mod, mastersword, you pinpointed ALL the bad parts of the game, and yes, I didn´t miss the part about the meaning of the "sword of sadism" pretty nifty critique :D
One thing I also found very good when you made the overall mood of the mod was the diaries, they made me really identify with this person that had travelled before me through these lands and it was with fear and sadness that I realized that not only did I have to kill him, I also had to act as an instrument of sadism itself, so basically that was very ironic!

to sum this whole thing up: the team has done an excellent job in creating new and sometimes extremely cool ideas for the half-life engine, I would give this mod a 10/10 rating because it shows that you CAN with a big of genious,and a whole lot of determination stretch, break and annihalate the hardware limitations of any game out there. If you guys haven´t started coding on your own game, I suggest you start, you´ve got some great potential in you!

Well thats all I had on my mind, so, see you later I hope!

with great respect and admiration


December 11th 2003

I've created an experimental browser game called "Emaility". Everything should be quite self-explanatory on the main page.

English | German

I'll post further news soon. Just don't leave. I've got a few things to tell you.

November 21st 2003

November 20th 2003

Finally I'll get a new PC on Monday. With a few private problems, but I'll get it.

Chances are good that soon I'll start working on a new project. I've accomplished a lot in the past few weeks so that my mind is getting ready for new things. I've finished "Critical Beauty", I've implemented a new experience system to PHQ, I've added a deathmatch mode to Heal The Dragon (which is quite lame, I must admit) and I've finished the Halfquake Amen Comics on the paper. I won't make the Untopia page for a few reasons and I guess the common enemy in PHQ is just too complex to do it now. I need my strength in other areas. Like the new project I was talking about.

I won't say what the new project is since I still don't know when it will start or how it will be called or if I really, really, really wanna do it. A lot of questions still need to be answered.

But by the time my idea has become concrete this will be the place where you read it first.

Fact is: The colder the weather the more I'm productive. It's cold, dark and foggy outside and the trees look scary and dead. I love autumn and winter. All that's left now is art. A new world. A new look.

Stay dead.

November 12th 2003

I've finally finished my new song called Critical Beauty. You can download it here. And below are the lyrics. I hope you like it, though I doubt it. I was in a very bad mood today...

critical beauty

we're drowning in anger
we're rotten by the truth
we're embittered slaves
we're losing our youth

failure is always the best way to learn
and the evidence that we forget what we've learnt

beauty is just a dream
science is just a shame
smiling is just a strain
living is just a pain

I'm fed up being afraid
I'm fed up being a shade
my tears are drying out
my strength begins to fade

if knowledge means suffering
if truth reveals a lie
if white turns into black
I'll leave and never come back

happy depression
beautiful decay
healthy sickness
wonderful life




The Farm