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April 11th 2003

Another day in school, a rainy, but warm weather outside, trying to get my mood down to a world called "Depression",.. passing people, who aren't relevant to the world - things would be the same if one of them weren't given an existence -, another english discussion.

Naive girl: "Philipp, what do you think about reality soaps and Starmania?"
(Starmania is a TV Show in which people from the whole country get voted for best singer who cover songs - a TV Show for getting producers of the show richer and richer so to speak)

Me, surprised that she dares asking me: "Heh, Starmania... Look, I think it's unfair if people become famous for covering songs. People who are not able to compose their own songs, who get said: "Dude/Bitch (or whatever she/he is called), you gotta sing this song, using this melody, you become famous and I get the money, awright? Ah, and wear something thin - know what I mean!"

Another girl: "So you don't think Starmania is cool?"

Me, grinning: "No, because it has nothing to do with music or even art. See, I'm a musician and -"

Another girl: "YOU?! You're a musician?!"

Me, getting really angry: "Yes, and - "

Another girl: "So you sing and play instruments?"

Me: "Yes, you see I -"

Another girl: "Can we hear something?"

Teacher, really intelligent annd enngllish goodly tallck: "Philipp, can we listen to one of your songs?"

Me: "Sure, I got one right here in my Mini Disc player, wait a moment."

I got my Mini Disc player and they all listened to "Rainbow Zombies" and "Senseless fools" (insider, check out the lyrics on my page). They liked it and the teacher even wanted a CD.

The lesson ended and I went outside, feeling abused, raped by ears who didn't hear what my music really was. They just heard the melody, not the message or the spirit. They didn't listen to me, they listened to sounds they converted into a cheap language they better understand. And after a few minutes they had forgotten it anyway. A senseless action, a waste of time for senseless beings.

March 24th 2003

Personal Halfquake will be offline the next two days.

I played Icewind Dale II on the weekend. You really get addicted to such games. I wish I had more time to play more of them, such as various MMORPGs. But Anarchy Online for example was quite boring after you made a few missions. Maybe it was boring because I hadn't much time to play it.

I'm waiting for a game which blasts the whole gaming community away and sets new standards in every corner. We're in need of innovations, new stories, new worlds. Where are they?

Fact is that companies are afraid of real innovations because it's too risky. A little mod-maker like me doesn't have much to lose, so he can do whatever he wants. A company is dependent on money and can lose everything if people don't like their ideas and innovations.

That counts for movie companies too of course. That's why all make sequels based on successful movies: it's cheap, less risky and people don't get it that they just saw exactly the same thing they've already seen a few years before. Of course with other actors here and there, better special effects, famous people and maybe some naked skin - sex always sells (Men In Black II, Austin Powers III, Mission Impossible II).

But I'm drifting away from my main topic.

What should a new game look like so it opens your mouth for the rest of your life?

The problem is: Tastes are different. The perfect game must be incredibly adjustable so that everybody gets exactly what he wants. Therefore a game could be based on your own imagination. A game could be like a dream. Or even better: A game could be like the opposite of life.

March 17th 2003

Got two new wallpapers by avokataran:

Number 1
Number 2

A little update on Darrn's project, sunrise at 5 am, tiredness and hopefully a new Halfquake Amen Comic today. And maybe even some war here and there.

We'll feel what life means when we die.

Stay dead.

March 15th 2003

Thanks to all of you who waited and showed enough patience. Now we're online again.

Avokataran, a guy from Personal Halfquake, made a desktop wallpaper. Click here.

New T-shirts are available in the Personal Halfquake shop. You must register to gain access. Hope you like them.

I'm working hard on improvements in PHQ. Though I'm already thinking about a next project. I don't know if it will be a Warcraft III map or a music project far away from Halfquake.

Time will show me the way.

March 04th 2003

I found some new forum entries concerning halfquake amen and the farm:

- TenFourMaps
- GreatSilliness
- Todesangst2

We've currently about 60 sadists registered at Personal Halfquake. Hope this is not the end.

And be prepared for a new Halfquake Comic today.




The Farm